Not Strong
by Ichihara-Mina
Summary: Hakuryuu is acting strange in a way only Alibaba finds suspicious. That's why he decides to confront him about it after Hakuryuu nearly got himself killed. ..Can and can not be seen as SLASH...I SUCK at summaries. SPOILER WARNING (anyone who hasn't been up to date to the manga), potential sad ending


**A/N: Hello~ **  
**I don't know whether someone knows me around here. And I know... that there are actually oher things I should have written... ages ago, but I just couldn't. Somehow. And school is... meh =A= Not to forget that I was nearly killed by incompetent doctors.  
**

**My first ever Magi Fanfiction. With Hakuryuu and Alibaba of course... I just LOVE Hakuryuu. And I am very sure that there is going to be a big fight between Alibaba and Hakuryuu in the future... at least some sort of conflict, because... Well Hakuryuu might end up like Kassim. And we aaaaaall don't want that to happen. At the same time I think Hakuryuu and Alibaba have lots in common and that is why, for me, Alibaba is the only one that will be able to save Hakuryuu.  
**

**WARNINGS: SPOILER for anyone that is not up to date to the manga; 'SAD' ENDING  
**

**This was written a while back, I just had no time nor life, nor internet to post it XD  
**

**Disclamer: well... I don't think Magi would be as awesome as it is, if I owned it.  
**

* * *

"So, what was that all about, if I may ask. Hakuryuu."

He didn't really expect things to turn out this way. He never expected to be found out, he never had even considered the possibiblity.

He thought he had been a good liar. Because really, he was able to convince himself, so why was it that he was now being questioned by Alibaba? When he had first met the boy... he didn't really think much of him. But contrary to his expectations, Alibaba turned out to be a remarkable person that he started to respect and trust.

But never had he thought of being found out this way. He had been too arrogant.

Hakuryuu looked down at his bedsheets not daring to make eye contact with the blonde teen that sat on a chair next to his bed. They were alone in that room when Hakuryuu had gained consciousness. Alibaba had waited for him to wake up.

He was scared. He felt guilty. And he felt ashamed. "I... I don't know what you are talking about." he mostly mumbled but Alibaba was able to hear him.

"Hakuryuu."

Hakuryuu flinched. Alibaba's voice sounded firm and confident. It had a strong vibe to it. Something that he was not.

But more importantly... Alibaba seemed angry. Why?... He couldn't think of a reason.

"I won't leave nor let you leave until I get an answer."

Hakuryuu pressed his lips together. "I did nothing wrong."

From the corner of his eyes he could see Alibaba folding his arms. "Oh really? You want me to believe that it was an accident? That you couldn't have dodged that attack because it surprised you? That you need more training and everything will be fine?" Alibaba was definitely angry. There was no doubt of it now.

However, that was not been what had bothered him the most about this comment.

How... did Alibaba know? Those were exactly the excuses he would have used. Always used.

"So. Did you want to die?" he was asked, a bit more soft this time. Alibaba seemed to have calmed down a bit.

Hakuryuu didn't know any answer to that question. He never really thought about his death.

No, that was a lie. He constantly thought about it. "I can't die... I still have something I have to do." He just wanted... to hurt himself a bit? Nothing more.

Hakuryuu was sick of a lot of things. But he knew he had to keep fighting. To keep on. And this was the part he hated the most. He hated this weak part of himself. He was fed up with it. He ...really couldn't stand it.

And that's why he usually avoided thinking about it. Thinking about anything. But that was not possible anymore. He couldn't avoid this. He couldn't run away from this anymore.

He felt sick to the bone. He began shaking. And to cry. He was just too damn weak. He knew, that if not for Alibaba and the others he wouldn't have been able to attain a Djinn and clear that dungeon. He was useless. Nothing like his siblings. His siblings were strong. As strong as the Empire they represented. The Empire he wanted to get rid of. But how could he manage that if he was this weak?

He knew there was no hope for him. That's why he wanted to end it. It just was that he couldn't make himself do it. That was all. That's why he hated himself. He hated this weak side of his. He was not allowed to have these kind of selfish thoughts. His brothers saved him. Hakuryuu should have been the one that died on that day. Not his brothers. His brothers were strong. Something he himself would never become. His thoughts and behavior were a disgrace to his deceased brothers.

"It's not something you have to bear alone, you know? You are certainly not weak."

This caught Hakuryuu off guard, but then this whole situation did. He held his breath and turned to look at him, for the first time since he had awaken. "Why..." he was not able to voice his question. Not with the way Alibaba had looked at him.

Alibaba's expression had turned into a very sad smile. There was no longer any sight of anger. Just sadness. And understanding? But how did Alibaba understand? He was sure to not have vocalized his thoughts, so how?

Alibaba continued to smile and unfolded his arms. "I had the same thoughts. I messed up big time and wanted to atone for it. I wanted to make things right. I thought I had to do it alone. I know the feeling of massive pressure on your shoulders. And how you just want to die, because... because you can't take it anymore. But because of the things you HAVE to do, you can't just kill yourself. And this makes you think you are weak." Alibaba had looked into nothing when he had started his monologue. He sighed and eyed him again. "And that's why you fight carelessly. If it happens in that way, it can't be helped. It wouldn't been your fault. People die everyday. Isn't it so?"

Hakuryuu's eyes widened. There was nothing he could add to that. Even though he never had told anyone about his past... even though he thought he was such a good liar, even though Hakuryuu tried his hardest to hide... Alibaba had still seen through him. In every aspect. Like an open book.

Alibaba grinned at him and took Hakuryuu's hand. "I told you, I had the same thoughts. I was the same as you are now. So there really isn't anything to be surprised about." Hakuryuu's eyes wandered to his hand. Alibaba's hand had been warm. And comfronting.

Alibaba putting more strength into his touch made Hakuryuu to face him again. As soon as Alibaba got his attention back he started to talk again. "I am your friend. We all are. Let us help you."

* * *

"Thank you, Alibaba-dono for your words at that time. I really am grateful for that." Hakuryuu said admist battle, his voice firm. They were surrounded by fighting and fire. By blood and misery. By tragic and sadness.

"Why, Hakuryuu? Why did this have to happen? If you are grateful then why didn't you accept our help?!" Alibaba sounded desperate and helpless. But at the same time, to Hakuryuu, he still sounded demanding and strong.

Hakuryuu looked at him before slowly closing his eyes. "Because I am not strong."

* * *

**A/N: This was it. I hope you liked it. I do. Kind of. And I kind of think there is something... not right, Something is missing ...**

**I would love to hear your opinion about this. Also, if you find any mistakes, tell me. I am not a native English speaker  
**

**Have a good day  
**


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